Play On.

Well, as of now I have no friends on here to read this but that is okay! I will write anyhow. My list to write on:

Rachel :)

Surgery and recovery

Seizures

Having spinal stimulator removed

Ronni

Going back to therapy

Firstly, I would like to start off with a little something about my baby, Rachel. My world, my life, my heart. The hope in my eyes. The reason I breathe. My everything and the one whom I'd give anything for. :) She is amazing and I love her so much. She is such a caring and compassionate person and I am lucky enough to be with her. I can not even begin to count my blessings. But the main reason of writing about her is because I have come to realize that I want as little space from her as possible. I'm talking living together when I am able to afford my half of living costs. I am talking I want to marry her. And I honestly would love to have a Fall 2010 wedding. But I do not know that she is on that same page, or when she will be. I just know that I will be ready and waiting when she gets here. What a fine place to be...what a sad place to be alone.

Onto my next topic...my surgery was nearly a month ago and I am still having to take pain medication constantly for the pain. The cold outside makes it excruciating, too. But something else has risen to the surface. On my incision, there has popped up what looks like yellow pus but it doesn't all leak. It looks like some is under skin and I can't get it to go away. I am not sure what to do about this...It has leaked onto various tank tops that I wear and stained them and it is getting to be ridiculous...Maybe a doctor visit is in order...

My seizures seem to be pretty under control. I do still have some but no grand mal seizures. Thank God for that!

I go the Johns Hopkins on January 25th to plan the date for my stimulator removal. They are going to try to talk me in to keeping it but why would I? I have had it turned off and my problem is Thoracic Outlet Symdrome in both arms.

I have spoken to Ronni about being a nanny for her three year old daughter. I just need to get a little money coming in and I would love to spend my day taking care of a sweet girl. Let us hope this works out...

I am going back to therapy next week if this pus issue is under control. Yay!

I am off to try to sleep or go to the ER...we will see...